Would you scoop my dog’s poop?

February 6, 2008

For those of you unfamiliar with NYC animal rules, under Giuliani, a law was passed requiring people to “curb their dog”.  That is a nice was of saying, “Pick up your dog’s crap off the sidewalk and grass so I don’t step in it while I frantically run to the train that I am running late for”.  When you walk through NYC, you’ll notice people walking their dogs and carrying a little plastic bag, so when little Fluffy decides that nature is calling, his droppings can be picked up in a sanitary way.

I found this amusing, as I’m from the country and the ‘burbs where Fluffy just does his business, and I don’t have to be part of it.  But I am thankful for this little law in the city, because with a million people walking their dogs, my shoes would be covered in you know what.

While I find this little tidbit amazing, what I find more amazing is that people actually pay other people to walk their dogs for them.  What’s the point of having a dog if you don’t take it for a walk? Anyway, I’ll stop before I digress.  Not only have I seen it, but I have first hand knowledge for when I first arrived in the city I took over a friend’s dogwalking business (yes, business) while she went out of town.  This friend of mine makes her entire living walking other people’s dogs! When I did her route, I got paid $50 an hour to walk a rich person’s dog!  But remember, that meant that I had to pick up their poop. I sometimes wonder if there’s even enough money in the world to compensate a person for picking up your dog’s poop, but hey, I was broke and needed the money.

My most memorable dog was Fo Fo, a feisty french bulldog.  He belonged to a guy who got rich off some animation he invented in the 70’s.  Fo Fo got a 20 minute walk every morning.  My ritual is as follows: I would pick up a key to the apartment from the doorman, let myself in, go into the man’s bedroom (where he was normally still sleeping), get Fo Fo and take him to Central Park.  Sometimes the man would be awake, eating breakfast in bed with his girlfriend watching TV.  I’ve always wondered who lives like this – well, I found them on the Upper West Side.  Can you imagine?! I’m not so sure how I’d feel about somebody coming into my bedroom while I’m asleep to take my dog for a walk. Just seems kinda creepy, but I suppose that’s how the other half lives.

Anyway, my job was to take Fo Fo for his morning walk.  Now, Fo Fo was not an obedient dog. In fact, Fo Fo and I would have daily fights over who would be the boss. I normally won, but not after much protest from the feisty french dog.  When I discussed this with my friend, she said the problem with Fo Fo was that he had too many masters. He has a morning and evening dog walker, a person who feeds him, a dog trainer and his owner.  This dog has more caretakers than almost every child in America! Does anyone else see something wrong with this? Anyway, he had an authority complex, but after our daily battles, he began to realize that I would not back down, and he started to obey.

After his walk, I would take him back to the apartment building and put him in a private car waiting to take him and his owner to work. Often times, his owner was not there, and Fo Fo would get a private car to take him to his owner’s work!  A private car for a dog!  Are you kidding me?

So all in all, Fo Fo was fed regularly, had his poop picked up after him, had a warm place to sleep, was taken to work in a private car on a daily basis and was praised all day at work.  Who says a dog’s life is hard?


3 Responses to “Would you scoop my dog’s poop?”

  1. Sean Says:

    Thank god for this law, although most people still don’t clean up after their dogs.

  2. Tyler Says:

    wow. I’m willing to be a dog in NYC…

  3. […] with toilets and things that go in toilets (for other posts on the subject click here, here, here, here, here, here. (Holy you-know-what, I write a lot about this stuff)) I know, I swore over a year ago […]

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