Are those my shoes you’re wearing?

February 18, 2008

This is a great Monday morning story.

If you’ve ever lived in an apartment building, or in close quarters with anyone, you usually end up with some pretty interesting neighbor stories. In NYC, it is no different – in fact it is multiplied by a gillion times when you have 22,000 people per square mile (that is no exaggeration. That’s the population density in NYC. The bastion of accuracy, Wikapedia, told me this:) but I think I’ve found it elsewhere, but I digress).

My apartment situation is no different. The gentleman who lives above me is crazy, as I have shared in another post. But I thought that I might perhaps be the only one who has noticed this. Friday, however, I was vindicated. I was speaking with another person in my building, let’s call him Bob. Bob and I were talking about the building and I mentioned that the guy above me seemed kind of crazy. Bob says, “Oh, you have no idea…” and proceeded with the following story.

Bob had just purchased a new pair of blue, Nike running shoes. Apparently they were wet from a run, so he left them outside his door to dry overnight. Normally this would not be an issue in a secure building as the one I am in. Well, the next morning, he awoke to find that the shoes were gone! They were brand new, mind you, so he wasn’t very happy about the development, but what could he do but get ready for his day? So he got ready, and he got on the elevator to find my crazy neighbor already on it (he lives across the hall from Bob). They made small talk until Bob looked down and noticed that crazy neighbor was wearing a blue pair of new Nike running shoes!

So Bob nonchalantly says, “Hey, those are some nice shoes.”

Crazy neighbor replies, “Thanks, I found them.”

Bob says, “Really…hmmm…well, actually, they are my shoes.”

Now at this point any normal, sane person would perhaps be embarrassed, make up some story to cover up their theft, something to get out of it. Not crazy neighbor. He replies, “Oh, well you can borrow them anytime.”

Oh the joys of 22,000 people per square mile.

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3 Responses to “Are those my shoes you’re wearing?”


  1. Crazy neighbor man reminds me of Mr. Heckles on “Friends” 😉

  2. kensajolaw Says:

    I know, I really feel their pain. I often take my broom to the ceiling. Over the summer I was in Salzburg, Austria and one day I looked out my window and across the street was an ugly guy in his underwear standing at his window! It was ugly naked guy!


  3. […] 5, 2008 Remember my crazy neighbor upstairs who stole my other neighbors shoes?  Well, I think the pretty blue Nike’s have inspired him to work out.  One morning, while […]

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