Don’t grocery shop – you might get pummeled

February 21, 2008

Disclaimer: I do not condone the behavior of the perpetrator.

So I’ve mentioned before the cramped quarters I find myself in here in the Big Apple. Well, that is also true at the grocery store. Where I’m used to going to Kroger and slowly walking the aisles with my big shopping cart, in New York, I could get bludgeoned for committing such a crime. See, in most of the grocery stores up here, there’s really only room for the food. People are a mere nuisance. There is this misconception up here by the the grocery store owners that people might actually want to get down their aisles to buy the food that the owner is hoping will leave the shelves. Instead, me and my little hand carried basket cram down aisles, knocking over small children and old ladies just so I can get some peanut butter. It’s pretty violent at times.

So, you can understand why I might find this recent incident kind of funny. In lower Manhattan, a man was accosted from behind by an assailant at the cash register. When investigators looked into the issue, it seems that narrow aisle space was the culprit. I think the assailant was just acting out what 99.9% of all New Yorkers feel like doing on occasion. Really, 22,000 people per square mile is just 21,998 too many for me.


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