Major step toward orange-hood

May 4, 2008

My friend Rudy sent me a card a couple weeks ago that said, “Are tangerines really just oranges that didn’t want it enough?”

I died laughing when I read that. I thought, “I sure as heck want to be an orange! I don’t want to be satisfied with just being a tangerine!”

Well, today, I took a major step towards being an orange.  See, my entire life I’ve been pretty good at most things I do, aside from basketball and volleyball, or heck any sport that required hand/eye coordination.  I ran really well and played soccer really well without giving much effort. I suppose I gave a little more than the average Joe, but there was no need to give more.  When it required that I give more (like to play at the collegiate level) I realized I didn’t want it badly enough. I liked singing more, and I was still able to give more than average and excel.

Well, today was a big wake up call to me.  I sang in studio class today (that’s when everyone who studies with my teacher gets together and sings for one another).  I sang the aria that is the big one in Cenerentola, which I am singing this Friday and Saturday.  It’s the equivalent of running a half marathon (not quite a marathon. That’s when you have to sing Wagner). But this is like a half marathon with hurdles.  It is, by far, the hardest music I have EVER had to sing.  It requires so much of me, but for some reason, I do it well.   So, I was singing away and things were going well until I got to the end of the piece where a little passage runs all the way up the scale to a B above the staff. For those of you not familiar with that note, scream at the highest pitch you possibly can, and then imagine making it sound pretty.  That’s what a B is for me.  Normally, B’s aren’t that bad for me, but in this one spot, they are.  So, I ran up the scale and pooped out.  Totally didn’t sing it.  But I had one more chance as the same passage was coming up again.  I ran up the scale, and fell flat on my face again.  So my teacher got up and yelled, “DO IT AGAIN!” and I was like, “HOW?” So he gave me a couple pointers.  And then kept making me do it over and over and over and over and over and over and over.  And finally I said, “I can’t do it anymore. It’s starting to hurt.” And he turned, looked me in the eye and said, ‘You’re out of shape. Do it again.” So I did.  And guess what, I did it.  And it didn’t hurt me. Was I tired? Yes. But hurt, no.

In all honesty, for the first time in my singing career, I felt like I actually had to go farther than I thought I could actually go.  I felt like, for, if not the first time, one of the few times, I gave it every bit that my little body could give it.

I didn’t just give a little more than the average Joe. That doesn’t cut it in this league. It’s all or nothing.  You hear professional athletes say that kind of stuff all the time, and most of the time, it just went in one ear and out the other, because I didn’t know what it meant to give it everything I had.  But I know now.  And now that I know, I can’t do any less.  I have found that level, and I can’t go back.

This career is hard. It takes an emotional and physical toll, not to mention the sacrifices that are made on a daily basis.  But I have that orange dangling in front of me, so you won’t be seeing this one giving up anytime soon!

Good-bye tangerine, hello orange!


3 Responses to “Major step toward orange-hood”

  1. VeganDiva Says:

    Go get that orange!!!! xoxo

  2. ben Says:

    Great story! Way to go!

  3. […] voice. I thought that was enough, but apparently it wasn’t.  After studio class on Saturday (my orange moment) I received a text from my teacher saying, “I want you in a lesson before your next […]

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