101 Ways to Use a Saw

December 14, 2008

There are many things you can do with a saw. You can cut. You can…um…you can…well, I guess that’s all you really do with a saw. Cut.


The other day I was walking up the stairs to the subway platform. On my way up, I heard what sounded like a person whining on pitches that somewhat resembled Christmas carols. My refined ear was cringing. I got to the top thinking I was going to find a crazy person attempting to sing with a cup in front begging for change. Instead I was greeted by a woman bowing with a flourish on….

a saw.

Yes, this woman was playing a saw. Now, if I had been in the West Virginian mountains perhaps I wouldn’t have found this so odd. But on the Upper East Side? Playing as if she had studied years to master the saw, she sat with a dazed smile on her face like a violin aficionado. At the end of each song, she would slowly place her hand on top of the blue Santa hat set upon her head and bow with the grace of an opera diva despite the fact that no one was watching.

I suppose that when you move to the city and you happen to have a saw, there’s not much you can do with it. There’s no need to cut any wood because there is no wood to cut. And you can’t really sell it to make a few bucks to pay the rent because no one else needs a saw. The only thing left?

Play it! That’ll make a few bucks!


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