Update: Sarsota

January 20, 2009

Well folks. I have arrived in Sarasota, Florida. It’s been a cold few days here – been all the way down into the 60’s. Whew. I’m not sure if I can handle it…

My access to internet has been sketchy, however, I have found a remedy, so you will be getting more regular updates (if I have a brain left after my horrendously long days).

The big news is that the opera company had yet to cast the cover (understudy) for Beppe in L’amico Fritz. I’ve been using one of his arias (songs) as an opener in my auditions as of late, so I sang it at Death by Aria (an evening where everyone in the program gets up and sings a little tune for each other) and in a master class with Maestro DeRenzi. And they gave it to me! I was floored. Literally speechless. So I am very excited about it. I’m working on it feverishly as rehearsals begin next Tuesday for it. It’s an incredible opportunity and I am very thankful for it…and no, my dear friends, you may not pull a Tonya Harding on the girl singing the role…geez…the fact I would even have to tell you…tsk, tsk.

The Night Before

January 5, 2009

I leave tomorrow (Monday) for Sarasota for 3 months.  The night before I leave is always so hard.  I love my hubby and my friends and the roots I have put down, it is always so bittersweet when I have to leave for extended times to do what I love so much.  It’s such a terrible mix of emotions.  Most of the time all I do is just sit with Tim and laugh, talk and cry.

It’s hard.  It would be very easy for me to put up a wall and move into independent mode and act as I don’t care before I even leave to make it easier to leave.  But that would be dishonest. I do care, and I am not independent when I am home…nor do I want to be. Life with Tim is awesome, and it’s always tough to leave it.

I used to be able to pick up and go whenever and wherever I pleased without a care. But that is before I cared about people.  I moved so much as a child, I never put down roots and knew somewhere in my psyche that’d I’d be gone soon enough so my care went to God and my immediate family. They were the only constant.

But now I have a new constant, Tim, and others whom I have developed close ties with.  And I revel in it for what little time I am home until I have to pack up and go away again.

Don’t get me wrong. I am looking forward to being in Sarasota.  Singing and meeting new people is always fun and an amazing adventure. And it is only 3 months.  But I notice many of the singers I know or have come into contact with who have become incredibly successful have developed a thick wall around themselves.  Many don’t seem personable. They are nice, but you can’t get too deep. I think I know why now. It’s too hard to let too many, or anyone in, just to get up and leave a week or two later.

I have chosen for that not to be my fate – even though it is harder.  That is not a good life to me. The life I have is wonderful, and we weren’t made to walk around being careful and protecting ourselves from potential pain. It ain’t easy, but I guess that is my cross to bare.