Smack talk on the street

June 16, 2009

So you know how when someone cuts you off in traffic and goes slow or comes to a stop you get really mad and say things you probably shouldn’t? And then the person who committed the offense then honks their horn at you, gives you special hand signals and yells at you?I mean, I don’t know what that’s like…I mean. It’s never happened to me…

Uh…anyway. So I was walking down the street today and a guy came out of a restaurant with a big pizza box in his hand. He walked directly towards me. Now this is nothing new in this city. You get very good at defensive & aggressive walking in order to get places.  Normally when someone makes  a b-line for you, you assume they will slip past you either in front of you or behind you. No biggie.  No harm, no foul. And people are really quite talented at this.  Only every once in awhile is there a collision, a myriad of apologies are handed out, each party makes sure the other is OK, and you continue on your way. So you would imagine my surprise when on a fairly empty sidewalk, this guy walked toward me, and turned to walk directly in front of me at about half the pace I was going.  I actually ran into him because I couldn’t stop fast enough. Out of shock more than anything else I said, “Oh my gosh. Really?” After nearly bowling him over with my endowed chest region (he was half my height, but yet a grown man) I got around him. But then, as I passed, he started yelling at me! “You need to f%$*g learn to walk down the f&%#$g sidewalk.” He said some more stuff but I was so dumbfounded by the absurdity of the situation, I actually laughed. I mean, really? who talks smack to someone they feel was walking poorly down the street. That’s just retarded.

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